Archived post from our February 2007 trip
Hi, it's Ilene writing from HCMC, back from fun on the beach in Mui Ne and cycling in the Mekong Delta.
What did Chekov say? A pair of underwear in the first act. . .?
Anyway. Since so many of you have expressed concern about the underwear situation. . . let me provide an update.
Last I left you, I was in a bit of a bind—the not-really-XL XL underwear on, laundry still out until the next afternoon.
That morning, I went to Cholon, the Chinese neighborhood, with my friend Chi, who is anxious to show me the markets and bargain on my behalf.
We head into one of the big markets, where Chi’s friend works selling baby clothes, and she asks me what I’d like to buy.
I look around. We’re surrounded by blue jeans.
“Jeans,” I say thoughtlessly.
Moments later, I realize my misstep. Chi is asking each vendor if they have anything that would fit me. Skeptical looks. Deep stacks of denim are overturned. A pair of Tommy Hilfiger stretch boot cut jeans is produced.
“Try these on,” Chi says.
I look around. Well. Good job, Ilene. I’ve not only created a situation where I need to take my pants off in front of everyone, I’ve created a situation where I will now also show the entire Cholon market the not-really-XL underwear on my body--you remember my two choices, and the choice to wear them up, yes?
(Why do so many of my travels in Asia end up with my bare ass hanging our somewhere?)
I suck it up, step behind the display table and give the gal hanging up merchandise an eyeful of American Back End.
And of course the jeans are nowhere close to fitting. The next size is brought. It doesn’t help that I am sweating heavily at this point.
And then I am saved from my ordeal—because there is not a larger size. I have already tried on The Largest Jeans in Vietnam.
“Ok, Chi,” I say, my own pants safely back on, “I guess what I really need to buy is underwear.”
No problem. Chi buys her underwear from a stall in the second floor. We head up there. I’m not feeling optimistic, but I get a pleasant surprise.
For 12,000 dong each (about 75 cents) I am able to buy your basic 100% cotton bikinis—what I was searching for all along. I buy 4 pair.
They are size XXXL.
And I’m over myself at this point. I think I look pretty fabulous as XXXL. I figure the Xs are like the string of zeros on every dong note I’m carrying around. I’ve gotten good at dividing by 16 to figure how many dollars everything is. I’m dividing my underwear size by at least 3Xs.
So, check out the cycling pix of us when Robert posts them. Nothing wrong with that back end at all.
